happiness

how many times in our lives are we happy? really happy, without any "buts" or other thoughts? not as many as you think I guess. the other thing is when you are happy to that extent you don't realize it, you just are happy. Now i was just playing back Michael's second visit in mind. I thought of how we went to Sevan on my birthday and stayed at Aram's hotel.

...How we sat by the lake and talked about days to come, about what we would do, once we are together. And we were sitting on a piece of wood, all alone at the shore and could hear the sound of waves only, and the sounds of he hotel sometimes but they were very far. The wind was blowing but it was warm in his arms as he held me close... and yes we were very very happy then. Every second was a lifetime, time was frozen and it was a moment of forever.

Then Aram told his men to light a fire (a bonfire should I say) and we sat by it along with other people. Then went back to the hotel to get some sleep :)

*then* on the next morning (it's when that photo was taken), I went out of the hotel and found mommy reading by the lake. Michael was still asleep in his room so I was waiting for him to wake up. And I sat down right on the wooden moorage dangling my legs. I was enjoying that very moment of my life, the place, the fact Michael was there in his room just several steps away, the morning sun, the freshness of the morning, previous evening, anticipation of *today* and the several days remaining from his visit, and just in general my life. I was happy, in the very sense of that word, it was just written on my face and I couldn't help smiling and closing the eyes to play back things over and over. I had no worries, no bad thoughts crossed my mind, and I just felt like the whole world is happy with me, and felt happy to be a part of that big bright world...

Yes I know this all may sound like the babble of a terribly romantic girl and some nonsense a girl in love will say... but I do mean what I say and I wish just everybody in the world to experience this kind of happiness, this feeling of fullness and completeness.